20 Years Later
by twilight-lover98016
Summary: this is set during new moon. edward left and he hasn't come back for twenty years. what will he find when he does come back? a song fic that's three chapters long lol song: my immortal by Evanescence
1. Chapter 1

Bella and Edward: My Immortal

_**Bella and Edward: 20 Years Later**_

"_Bella were leaving." His face was unbearable to look at. His golden eyes like a glass mirror. I could see through them but I couldn't see any pain in them, no sadness, no nothing. Only truth, and the truth in his voice was unbearable. Even in a dream…a dream about a painful memory._

I started to toss and turn; I knew what line was coming next. His face flashed across my face as the next part come out of my mouth, the painful truth that I knew was coming.

"When you say we…" I mumbled as I saw his hard face stare at me as he spoke, cutting me off mid sentence.

"_I mean my family and myself." He said. His beautiful pale face hard as a rock, as cold as ice. I shivered as I remembered what came next. I just stood there and let him say hurtful things without a fight. _

Cold sweat poured down my face. I tossed and turned some more as I started to mumble his name. I hated what was coming next. The truth was just too much to bear, even in a memory.

"_I'm no good for you Bella." That was bull right there and I should've told him off. I should've started shouting, but I didn't. The reality didn't sink in until he said goodbye._

My mumbling become louder as the dream went on. The tossing became worse and the nightmare seemed so real that I thought I had gone back in time.

"_Bella I don't want you to come with me." He said, his voice didn't tremble, his face showed no remorse or regret for what he just said. To be quite honest…he looked just like a vampire, or a Greek god frozen from shock. And I stood there like an idiot. But who could blame me, the love of my life just broke my heart with those nine little words. He didn't want me? After all those times that he told me he loved me, he didn't want me. It took me a few minutes to accept that. _

"_You…don't…want…me?" I asked hoping he would say that he did want me. I was hoping he would tell me why he was lying to me. And all of my hopes were crashed when he answered me._

"_No." His answer was flat, cold and heartless. I started to cry in my sleep as I mumbled his name. His topaz gold eyes stared into my face and it felt like he was sucking the soul out of me. He was sucking the very life out of me with his words. His bronze hair seemed darker than usual. The dark purple bruises made his face seem harder than usual._

I was to the point of screaming now; I've had this nightmare too many times since the day he left. "Don't. Don't do this." I yelled. I didn't worry about waking anyone up because I had moved out of Charlie's house years ago. I wish I could wake up, I hated this nightmare. I wanted it to stop. I didn't want to remember it anymore.

"_You're no good for me Bella." His statement was flat, cold, and truthful. I always knew I was never enough for him, but him saying it out loud made the truth ten times worse._

I started to tremble as my dream continued. I wanted it to stop. I wanted this endless pain to go away. I wanted my life back…I wanted my heart, my soul to return to my body. But it never did. It left with him that painful day in the woods. I gave him my whole heart and even after twenty years, I never really got it back.

"_And I'll make you a promise in return he said. " I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without anymore interference from me. It will be as if I never existed." (New Moon Pg 71)_

I screamed at the top of my lungs and shot up like a rocket out of my bed. The hole in my chest started to throb as the dream ended. I wrapped my arms around my chest and started panting. _It was just a dream…just a dream._ But that was the problem; it wasn't a dream at all. It was reality. Edward had left me twenty years ago. And I guess I never fully recovered from it. The hurt was still there, I could feel it in my chest whenever I thought about him or any of the others. I couldn't even say their names. The pain was that bad. I got up and walked over to my coffee machine in the kitchen. The window over the sink had the best view in the house, or at least that was my opinion. I bought a little cottage next to First Beach a few years ago. Jacob helped me get it, it was an anniversary present. I moved to La Push when I was nineteen and I only go to Forks to make Charlie's dinner and lunch, otherwise I try to stay away from everything that remind me of him. I walked over to my iHome dock that was next to the window and searched for one of my favorite bands. Lately I had been listening to Skillet, Evanescence, and Nickelback. Those were the only bands that comforted me after my nightmares. I don't know why but somehow the lyrics matched my dreams. Kind of weird but in a comforting way. Whenever I played one of the bands after my nightmare, thinking about what I'd dreamt didn't hurt as bad. I would sing along to the songs and be deep in thought about why I had been thinking about that memory or why I was feeling this way after twenty years. I found the song I was looking for. It was called My Immortal by Evanescence. I hit play and leaned against the fridge as my mind started to wonder.

_**I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone**_

These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

I walked over to the dock and hit stop after that first verse. I didn't want to listen to it anymore. The truth in the lyrics was just like the truth in his voice that day. Cold and unbearable. I let the tears run down my face as I sang the first verse again. I needed to get him out of my system problem is I didn't know how. How could there be a world where he didn't exists…it was just not possible, at least for me it was. He was probably with his new girlfriend talking about how pathetic I was because I'm human.

"Why…why did you leave me Edward…what did I do wrong?" I sobbed as the first verse and his face replayed themselves over and over again in my head.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Edwards POV**_

The hotel room I was in was as black as night. The only light that was in the room came from the window. I had locked my door and kept it locked. I asked the secretary not to let anyone up to my room, not even my family. I was too ashamed of myself to see anyone. It had been twenty years since I left Forks Washington and everyday since then has felt like a knife went into my heart. Twenty years ago I left the love of my life and even though I know I did it to protect her I doubt it did any good. The rest of my family is worried about her because for some strange reason Alice can't see her future anymore. I didn't tell them that after I heard that little bit of news I went to go check on her and found her in the arms of another man. As much as I wanted to rip his arms off I quickly turned around and left because it's what I wanted to happen. I wanted her to move on and have a normal _human_ life and with me around that wasn't possible. She was a human and I was a vampire. It could never work between us…even if I wanted it to. I sighed and leaned my head against the headboard. My memory drifted to the day I left her and the hole in my chest started to throb.

"_Okay let's talk." She said. Her arms were folded across her chest and her eyes looked worried like she was waiting for something to happen. I wanted to cry, if I could've and I wanted to tell her that everything was going to be alright. But I didn't, instead I silently growled and made my face go blank as I answered her._

"Bella. We're Leaving." I said aloud. My angelic voice echoed off the walls. The hole in my chest was where my heart should've bee. My heart hasn't beat for more than a hundred years. But now it felt like my heart was missing. Like it was never there in the first place.

_She looked at me, confused. I could tell she had no idea why I was saying this. I growled silently again as I waited for her response. "When you say we…" she said as I cut her off mid sentence. She didn't need to finish the rest of her sentence I knew what she was going to say._

"I mean my family and myself." I said aloud again. My voice sounded hollow and my chest throbbed with every word I spoke and everything I remembered. Her face danced across my mind along with _him holding her._ Every memory hurt as bad as if it was happening right this minute.

"_Okay, I'll come with you." She said. There was hope in her eyes. I knew she was hoping I would say yes and take her with us. But I shook my head and sighed._

My hands grabbed the hole in my chest as I got up and walked over to the mirror. I looked at my reflection as I spoke the next part. "You can't, Bella. Where we are going…it's not the right place for you." I said as I continued to stare at my reflection, my mind quickly drifted to Emmett's thought a year or two after we left Forks.

"_My brother looked so bad that it actually hurt to look at him. I'd seen him angry, and I'd seen him arrogant, and once I'd seen him in pain. But this—this was beyond agony. His eyes were half-crazed. He didn't look up to glare at me. He stared at an old picture of Bella with an expression like someone had lit him on fire. His hands were rigid claws gripping the picture frame."_ I stopped my brother died in his thoughts then when I told him to get out of my room. I haven't seen my family since then. I didn't need or want their sympathy. My thoughts drifted back to the last day I saw my Bella and my heart throbbed.

"_Where you are is the right place for me."_

"I'm no good for you Bella." I closed my eyes and sighed a deep frustrated sigh. That was the only bit of truth that was spoken that day. She disagreed but in my mind it was the truth.

"_Don't be ridiculous, you're the very best part of my life."_

I wanted to tell her that she was the very best part of my life as well and that I couldn't leave her even if I tried. I growled again, this time a little bit louder, but not loud enough for her to hear and continued with my lie. "My world is not for you." I said aloud grimily.

"_You promised! In Phoenix, you promised you'd stay!" She shouted at me as she looked like she was going to cry._

"As long as it was best for you." I said as coldly as possible. I wanted to hold her as she cried but I held back my body and my feelings. I had to let her go. I sat back down on my bed again and flashes of her face, him holding her, and the necklace Alice had given me the last time I saw her went through my mind. I fiddled around with the bedside table drawer until I got it open. I took out the necklace as my memory drifted back in time again.

"_No! This is about my soul isn't it! Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you—it's yours already!" she shouted. I shook my head and stared at the ground. I wanted to protect every inch of her and that included her soul. To me her soul was the most important part. But Bella didn't see it that way. So I had to say what I never wanted to say to anyone in hundred years. Especially not the love of my life._

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." I said aloud again. Flashes of her face came to my mind and my chest throbbed. That was the biggest lie I had told her that day. I did want her to come with me, I wanted her to stay with me forever but that wasn't possible. I fiddled with the necklace some more as my mind drifted from pictures of him holding her and her laughing to her in pain from what I had told her. Me and my big mouth. I growled as my mind went back to the day I left her. I couldn't take the pain anymore.

"_You…don't…want me?" She asked the tears forming in her eyes. I could smell the salt water._

I became the burning man again as my granite fingers tried to rip my face apart. "No." I said aloud. It echoed off the walls and the ache in my chest felt so much worse then it did earlier. For a spilt second I wondered if she ever felt like this, but then I pushed the thought away as the picture of her laughing and the man holding her came back into my mind. No, she was better at coping then I was. She was living her life, while I was too ashamed to even come out of my room and see my family. I let my mind remember the more important parts of that lie. I made her promise to take care of herself for Charlie's shake, not for me. Even though knowing she was alive and happy has kept me somewhat sane for the past twenty years. She nodded and I growled again as her words felt like weights on my empty chest.

"_I will." She said. The tears streaming down her face._

I snarled as I said the next part aloud. "And I will make you a promise in return, I promise that this will be the last time you hear from me, I won't come back. You can move on with your life without anymore interference from me. It will be as if I never existed." I whispered. I didn't want it to echo off the walls. It hurt badly enough without having an echo. I snarled so loud then that somebody probably thought I had a wild animal in here. I got up then, walked over to my dresser and grabbed my iPod. At first I couldn't listen to music at all but now it wasn't so bad. Bands like Skillet, Nickelback, Crossfade, and Evanescence helped me cope…sometimes. Right now what I wanted to hear was "My Immortal" by Evanescence. I knew it would describe exactly how I felt right now. I skipped the first verse and then pressed play and listened to the lyrics as Bella's face danced across my mind.

_**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me**_

You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

I stopped the song after that verse and fiddled with the necklace Alice got me again. It had a 24kt gold chain and it had four 24kt gold hearts and a golden key attached to the chain. One of the hearts turned out to be a locket and when I opened it, it had a picture of me on one side and Bella on the other. I smiled and whispered "Thank you Alice." I closed the locket after that and replayed the second verse. I smiled as I started to sing along to the song with my angelic voice. Pictures of Bella's face and the necklace still dancing across my mind.


End file.
